Haikus and body parts

I wrote a Haiku today in response to a #vss365 prompt and posted it on twitter before I remembered that I had pledged to include anatomical elements in each Haiku. Obviously, then, I felt compelled to modify it.

I’m posting the original one here and also the modified one. Have a look…

*vss365 (very short story, one for every day of the year)

The original verse:

Iridescent paint

Nature’s sublime canvas glows

Murky air plays foul

delicate cherry blossoms on twigs under blue sky
Photo by Harry Cooke on Pexels.com

The modified Haiku:

Iridescent paint

Nature’s canvas enthralls

The heart yearns afresh

close up of tree against sky
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What do you think? Which one works for you?

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